The girls and I are ready for us to be a family again. I am ready to come home and us work on our marriage.
She has made it abundantly clear that she is not waiting for you to be ready to come home (when haven't you been?) or to work on the marriage.
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This is no life for any of us. This isn't how it was meant to be.
She's made it abundantly clear that this IS the life for her. I'm sure when she thinks of the marriage she also thinks "this isn't how it was meant to be." Which is why she wants out.
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I am ready to step up to the plate to meet all of your needs and be the absolute best I can be for you.
Even though you are refusing to hear what she says, thereby proving you cannot do that. Showing you have not changed and therefore cannot be the absolute best you can be.
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Please consider this. Please soften your heart.
I forgive you for everything.
She doesn't want your forgiveness. She hasn't asked for your forgiveness. She wants to move on.
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There will be no questions asked and will never be anything brought up.
This is a silly statement to make and she knows that is not true.
I have simply open arms and unconditional love for you. I ask that you please forgive me to and allow us to start fresh and new. She DOESN'T WANT TO.[/quote]
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She didn't respond. I don't know why I sent it. I was just feeling lonely and tired of this whole situation.
The point of this is...NOT that you were feeling weak, but that you sent this letter AS IF she wants to "be a family again" when she has CLEARLY let you know she does not. After a year, you are telling her in this email that you will never get it. I'm surprised she has any communication with you at all! This is my point.
IMO, you are wrapping yourself up in a blanket of religion so you can firmly sink further into "magical thinking." There are REAL Christians who are divorced, Kevin. There are. Good, godly, Christian people who had spouses leave them and marry another. IT HAPPENS.
God allows these things to happen. God hates murder, Kevin, and people still get murdered. God hates child abuse, and children still get abused. God hates divorce....and people still get divorced, like it or not.
I am not saying God cannot restore a marriage, but your stubborn insistence, like a child, that your marriage WILL BE restored cuz daddy said so, and he's going to make your wife do what you want, is NOT being "faithful." Being faithful is trusting God no matter what the circumstances. It's continuing to trust Him and seek his will even though you cannot understand what is happening in your life.
The person God wants you to focus on is YOU, Kevin.
