Oh I have not badgered him for 6 days now..Yeah me! No R talk..no future talk..nothing. I have also learned a few things about the mistakes I have made in our marriage such as taking all of the responsiblity so that makes me a bit controlling such as helping him get jobs and doing his stuff when we were in school. I need to stop doing that and if it falls apart then he has no one to blame but himself. This is a marriage not me being his mother. I have 2 children to mother. As tough as it is to hear I get it now. I get that I have done so many things wrong in our marriage. I was just afraid if I did not do it he wouldn't. I have deciced not to baby him anymore. he needs to learn to speak up if he does not like something..not tell me 4 years later. I am responsible for myself and myself alone. I am tired of his "friend" and family making excuses for him..they blame me for everything as do I turn around and blame myself. But it is NOT my fault anymore. Today, I found myself falling back into my old habits and getting stressed about it. such as getting the oil changed, doing 4 loads of laundry( that is a 180 for me..trust me..I used to be so freakin' messy) making dinner( another 180) vaccuming the car, washing the car, sending out D birthday invites( I handmake them every year) So I had no time to run and no time to breathe..these are most of my days..now I am at work..only time to relax because I know once I get home it starts again..H does not help at all.and I do not ask him because he thinks it is all my responsibility, putting kids to bed, giving them baths, homework..ect....
