As much as it hurts me to say, I have no doubt she was HUGE for him. She was the crazy love, the infatuation, the serene, the way out, everything he needed at that point.
But, even BEFORE I found out, a year ago, he had clearly felt something was not as perfect as it seemed originally. That is ALL I am saying. A woman that was the motive for him to leave me and his then 5yr old D and 6yr old son was definitely SOMETHING!!!
But it did fade, after the normal period of time just as the books say, they say it lasts 6 months to 2 years, for him the passion lasted 16 months. Her letter of last spring where she was stating all that was "different" between them was very telling. Complaining about the fact he wasnt tender anymore, wouldnt share with her his feelings, her frustration about him saying the kids was the reason he wouldnt pursue the D.... She actually wrote to him that she could see how he didnt feel about her the way he used to... And THAT was when they were "ALONE" and I was out of the picture...
Still, that doesnt do me good. I am no where close to changing my mind. But I am not driven by anger anymore which means I can see how he acts again.
I am pretty confident and there is no vindication about this, that he is regretting every moment he spent with her, not because of me, because of EVERYTHING. It's now that he is facing the consequences of his actions, now that people talk to him openly, now that he feels ashamed. Enabling cake eating...sucks. And I did, in the beginning without knowing, then "knowing" and then without caring about it. I WOULD do things differently. I would snoop a year ago, before I agreed and had forced him then to make a clean break from her. If he wouldnt, I would have saved me a year, if he would, I would have saved our M.
