Stick with the no contact. What I would offer up is an alternative. Remind W that the separation and divorce is her decision, and if she wants to be a wife, and you to act like a husband, you feel you should seek counseling and BE husband and wife. lostforwards nailed it - you are giving her what she wants, why is she complaining?
I went to no contact with my W for a month - it was ridiculously hard. Probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. She didn't contact me at all, hung out with OM. However, at the end of it, she called to with me happy birthday, then started calling me all the time, pouring it on. Unfortunately, she kept OM in her back pocket, and I had to backpeddle.
The BEST THING I have EVER done in this whole situation is go to no contact. I waded through that horrible horrible month, and I came out confident, in charge, under control, and in charge of everything. W was meek and whiny, and asking me for everything.
I will say the second best thing is patience. In the very beginning, where you are, I went to the no contact for a couple of weeks, and W fell all over me. Very angry at the no contact at first, but I would just put the kids to bed, and go watch a movie, or read a book and ignore her. She started telling me she liked me, then said she wanted to try again. Unfortunately, she is seriously messed up emotionally - and needs medical help, not just divorce busting.
Anyway, I have been pushing divorce for months now, and she finds some way to wiggle around it.
Since your W has obvious feelings for you, I would perhaps throw her a bone in this form. If she calls you, respond, and be as sweet as apple pie, talk for 10 minutes, and have something scheduled. "I have to mow the grass, it's a foot tall." Don't let her hang up first...
