Kevin, let me say it another way, although I don't know why I am, because I know it won't make any difference...
YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH HER. IMO, she has ceased to even be a person in your mind, she is an object you are obsessed with having. Furthermore, your expectations seem to be that of six year old!
I have HAD someone obsessed with me. Even a restraining order could not get through to this person that I DID NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. He could go through pages and pages of why that was unreasonable of me, and whose fault it was. He could not accept that I DID NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. He thought God thought we should be together.
Even after going to court he found me in public and asked me if I could just "forgive" him and come back.
THIS is how you are acting!!!!!!
It's not selfish to pray for your family to be restored. But after a YEAR you are not accepting that your wife DOES NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP with you. If you want to "stand" forever, then do so, but ACCEPT that she is set on her course right now.
And, no, she is not going to offer to ML on your birthday, and the fact that you said you aren't going to ask for it, which would be insane at this point, tells me you are indeed THINKING OF ASKING. I hope you don't.
Why don't you take this new closeness to God and serve him for a while and STOP OBSESSING. If you CAN'T STOP OBSESSING you need a doctor. Like yesterday.
