No, I'm not forgetting that. But if you're anything like me -- yes, even Smiley's Person Himself -- there's some rueful regretful wishful "if only" that's independent of the concern for the wee ones.
And I dunno about the junkie. You know, you listen to these old junkies talk and, with the possible exceptions of Hunter S. Thompson and William S. Burroughs, there wasn't much "fun." Think about the Dark Side -- when, o when, will Rock Star contact me again? Why hasn't s/he called? In a sense Monsoor is a like teenage girl -- his entire world is defined by the phone and the latest issue of Tiger Beat.
I always think about that funny scene in "Get Shorty," when Danny Devito shows up at The Ivy, orders the enormous omelette or something that's not even on the menu, and then splits before the food even arrives -- from the POV (now that I'm all Hollywood 'n' sh*t I can use that abbreviation) of someone desperately hanging-on, that can't be an easy way to live.
Yes, yes and yes. The first bold- Yes, we have being human and bombed upon for starters. Regrets...that is evolving into understanding. As life becomes more fulfilling, regrets are revealed to be what they are, a big fat waste of time and predicated on lies and distortions. It can only be what it was because that's what it was...no I'm not tripping.
Which leads to- yes, I have a dear friend who was a junkie...not fun. But, what I observe is that H's distractibility sure seems like an asset at times. I am not saying he is fulfilled or happy...no one would be as overt and self-obsessed as he is if they were doing just great. But, I will handle the tough stuff, and IF he ever has an epiphany as to what he has done here, he will say his mea culpa and he will be forgiven because that is who I am and that is who I assume my children will be...you see this all the time...heartwarming late in the game daddy and grown children reconnecting and it is glorious...barf. But, for my kids, I would want that for them...to not live with hostility and resentment, I want it for myself too.
