Here your name doesn't have to be on it if you can prove that you resided there for a year (mail, utility bill) and all property is community property UNTIL there is a decree. That much I do know.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
Yep, his name is still on the mortgage and he does pay a monthly amount towards the house. I just feel it's extremely disrespectful and, once again, gives him the power and control.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
I'm not trying to make light of anything here. I do understand how frustrating it is. I got a little creative with this instead.
I developed a bad "habit" of locking all the screen doors and exiting through the garage and for some reason the garage door mysteriously "broke" after I switched the little buttons around in the back of it too.
Do you REALLY want to know where he lives? So you can drive by? See maybe who is there, for how long...wondering what is going on?
Is it disrepectful? Yeah...this whole thing is if you look at as something rationale. Hell even if you don't look at it rationally it is disrespectful. If you husband isn't in MLC then kick him to the curb, however if this is MLC if this isn't how your 'normal' husband acts, then MLC fits. And if it fits, and you want to be married and give it the best chance you have, you need to roll with the punches, swallow pride and ride this out until he comes out of it.
Changing locks is escalation. Its reactionary and about as far from acting 'as if' as is finding your own OM.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I understand why you did this, but you had best start remembering that you will catch alot more flies with honey then vinegar.
If he is still paying towards the living expenses of the house and his name is on the deed of the house and there is still no legal separation agreement or divorce, why can't he come and get his stuff?
Just remember if you piss him off too much it isn"t going to make things easier, especially since you want him to agree to let you get the armoir from the cabin.
Don"t be petty. Pick your battles wisely.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I completely agree with J3B and BND. When I return home next month, our joint assets will be funding H's new place, although I won't be on the lease, and they will fund our house / my home as well. I don't expect, nor do I want, access to his place. I will ask that he not come to mine without prior notice, and if I can't be there, I will ask him what he plans to do or take while there. He respected my space in that way during the first 6 months of our S, and until he does otherwise, I see no reason to proactively lock him out. It just isn't consistent with my original intention to take the highest road possible through this. If H's behavior changes, then I might have to revisit this, but I doubt the law will be on my side without a legal S or D.
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
