Newcomer, want to keep my hope alive!

[iwantittowork]

This week, it's GAL activity for me..

Tonight Going to the pats game with co-workers, will probably be a very late night. Left note for W I will not be home tonight.

Wednesday to the Racetrack with old co-worker, going to run his car, so may bring mine for a couple quick runs. Can't wait to see how he does with his.

Friday or Sat night, got invited to party at old high school friends house, her sister who lives out of the country is back for this week, I have not seen her since we left high school! Can't wait to say hi to them, they have there own families now, but will be good to see some old friends..

That leaves little time to work/fill in all my financial forms for the Mediator, but I plan on getting that done this week too, then this weekend spend time with d8, birthday party for my mom on Sunday with her..

[givingitmyall]

Sounds like a good plan. Maybe I'll see you on TV tonight. BTW, not sure I agree with the pats trading away Seymour. I'm a UGA alum, so I got to see him before you.

[iwantittowork]

Someone just mentioned something to me about my W behavior lately, wonder if it could be so.. She is world class stubborn when she sets her mind to something, and I wonder if her actions are stubbornness over her feelings or what she sees in front of her these days.. But, I don't want to loose sight of my mistakes in the M, and where she was at, during it at times, so just some thoughts..

But, back to FB.. Yeh, the Seymour things was out of the blue, but so like the Pat's these days. I am worried about the D they have this year now, but we'll see. Can't wait, going to tailgate for a bit as well, how can you beat that on a Monday night! My boss is even there, and told us to stop by for a beer and some chow...

[iwantittowork]

Well, Game was awesome, but I tailgated waaaayy to much and was pretty much out for the count yesterday after.

Tonight, hoping for good weather tonight as I am going to meet up with a friend at the race track. Brought my car too, so may take a pass or two down the track for some fun..

On the home front, got home last night, and W was not the cold/seperate person she was over the weekend, and didn't get up and leave when I sat on the couch. I asked couple quick questions, and she opened up a bit and was joking back a bit, and allowed herself to laugh.

She started talking then about my d8's school which is going to move to a new building in February, and I can tell she is excited, so I tried some open ended questions, and positive affirmations, like "Wow, I can see your really excited about this" and "This sounds like its going to be a good positive change"

I then put d8 to bed and retired myself to get some sleep, I need to finish up the financial paperwork this week, so need to focus on that tomorrow night..

[iwantittowork]

So, last night was GAL activity for me also, went to the Drag Racing track with a friend, and ran my car. Mixed results, couldn't get the tires to hook, so tire spinning poor runs, but was fun to be out with a friend doing something I like.

Tonight, I have to work on the Financial paperwork for mediator, and turn that in end of this week, or early next. Seems kind of surreal still at times.

I have only seen W now for about 10 mins this week, so far, I don't know if that's bad or good, but been good for me to do some other things. With the rest of this weeks schedule, I probably will only see W for a few minutes over the next few days, and weekends she has been spending time by herself. I am not sure if that is good for DB, but I believe it is, giving her time and space for herself.

Not sure what next steps are, I am still working on things for me. I wonder at times if she even notices any changes in me, my behavior, etc, but I also then think I can't spend time wondering about that, can I?

Kind of a DB Paradox at times..

[givingitmyall]

Not sure what next steps are, I am still working on things for me.

You just answered your own question in the same sentence.

I wonder at times if she even notices any changes in me, my behavior, etc, but I also then think I can't spend time wondering about that, can I?

And, you did it again. I understand your curiosity, but that's a HER issue. Don't worry about that. THAT will take care of itself. Work on you.

[iwantittowork]

Heh, yeah GIMA, I knew I was answering my own questions when I wrote it, helps to reinforce to me that is the correct thing..

Last few weeks have been more intense than I thought, thinking about everything, and business trip and schedule and finances, I am thinking I am a week ahead of myself!

I went to my IC today and sat in the office, just to realize that my appt is not until NEXT week.. D'oh!

Got to laugh at that, and move along...

[givingitmyall]

Don't lose your sense of humor.

[iwantittowork]

Don't lose your sense of humor.

Now that's a tidbit everyone can use along the way. For myself, I lost a lot of my sense of humor, and have been working on getting it back.

Funny is important, as stated in the DB books and many posts along the forum here..

Keep up your good work GIMA, I am still following your thread, just nothing for me to add to it, as you are doing so well..

[iwantittowork]

Unusual night for me, had to work late, and I was bummed out I wouldn't get to see d8, so I stayed even later and worked out.

Felt good during workout, and found myself pondering thoughts about if I needed to be single to fix the issues that I have for myself, self doubt, worthiness, etc, and actually feeling like that may be a good idea.

Came home tonight, and had quick dinner, spoke to W about 2 minutes in total, but I am tired and it's late, and she's reading so headed to bed..