Originally Posted By: Thinker
She does understand that my mom does not like her, and she does know that my mom holds strange and wrong ideas about her, but I have not yet told her the details of what I am hearing - just a few highlights.

................

The details will hurt my wife, while not giving her anything she can do anything about. It will make her angry on the basis of 3rd party information (she hears from me that I heard from my sibling that my mom said...).



IMO, no, for the reasons above. Not the gory details. Not the useless petty offal that goes back umpty years. Your wife (obviously) knows there is a problem, and you now fully understand that there is a problem. Unless you are planning to just dump the whole thing in your wife's lap to deal with, I see no need for passing along detailed third-party crap. Especially since you know how quickly the accuracy of information degrades as it is repeated, even if no one intends it.

There's a big difference between keeping important stuff that YOU think/feel away from your wife to avoid conflict and shielding her from the minutiae of hurtful external insults.

Side point: I understand the need for you to communicate with your siblings about this to get a better read on the extent of the problem, but I wouldn't make a habit out of discussing your wife's relationship with your parents to the exclusion of her, now that you know.

Last edited by Kettricken; 09/14/09 04:55 PM. Reason: attempted clarity

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