HELP!!! I need my DB brothers and sisters!

[missmyfriend]

25yearsmlc, thank you for responding to my request and your well thought out posts.

I have been seeing a C for a couple of weeks and I have been concentrating on my "haves" and not my "have nots". D17 and S14 were dropped off at my house after my "ex" wife called me, asking if I wanted them early for my birthday. They ended up staying throughout the next week and D17 and S12 only went back to their moms this past Friday when S14 and I went to a scouting event a couple of hours away from my house.

D17 has continued to stay at her moms although we spent the day together yesterday and S14 asked if he could stay another week with me. I told him no. Just kidding.

I started to realize, regardless of where my children are, they love me and, as far as parent-child Rs go, it is pretty solid. I think my irrational fear brought on a state of depression that was hard to overcome. I still get sad at times thinking of how things have changed for all of us but I do know I have countless blessings.

While what you say makes sense to me (speaking of moving on instead of being stuck, not allowing my ex to cake eat, that she is no longer my W because of the legal D and her desire to have the marriage over, becoming truly happy and displaying that behavior for my children, etc), I am trying learn how to be and exhibit strength without considering the M to be a thing of the past. If I move to that point, I will not ever allow a restoration of our marriage. The reason why I still (only here) call her my W is that I do consider the M over legally but not spiritually and I am trying to love her, from a distance, without speaking the words of love or direct actions.

And I also don't want you thinking that I am placing blame squarely on my ex wife's shoulders. I know most of what I have done to contribute to what happened. I think I gave the wrong impression in a post since some others are familiar with my sitch. Also, I don't believe in that I can ever be good enough for God just as we can never be good enough to earn salvation. I know it is a free gift. I am aware of a lot of scripture that speaks of rewards for being faithful and carrying out His commands but that may for here or the afterlife.

And while there is a free will, God has often made things challenging for people when their wills bumped into His will. He has even softened hearts when it was His will.

I am curious. Do you feel that dating others is necessary to show that one has "moved on"? I respect your opinion so I am not baiting you in any way.