Because my siblings are now open with me about what they hear, I am now hearing all of the petty and strange grudges that my mom is holding about my wife.
Should I tell my wife?
My instinct says "Yes". I need to be open with her. She deserves to know what is going on. She does understand that my mom does not like her, and she does know that my mom holds strange and wrong ideas about her, but I have not yet told her the details of what I am hearing - just a few highlights.
The only reason that I wouldn't is that these resentments that my mom is holding are petty, incorrect and hurtful. The details will hurt my wife, while not giving her anything she can do anything about. It will make her angry on the basis of 3rd party information (she hears from me that I heard from my sibling that my mom said...).
Telling my W is also (in a way) passing the problem on to her (or sharing it with her) rather than taking care of it on my own. I do feel like I should be protecting her from my families problems.
If this were your MIL, would you want your spouse to tell you?
I'm thinking "Yes"
Last edited by Thinker; 09/14/0904:35 PM.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
