OM is a mess and about to start working through logistics of divorce. Naturally W feels that she is offering comfort to a distressed friend, and I would be cold and callous to forbid that. Described the misery of the OM, how his marriage is WAY worse than what we are dealing with.
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W also called me out on some emails I read without her knowledge busting her on communications with OM. No big deal, I have a right to know what she's doing. She said she changed the password, so I won't be doing any more snooping anyway.
Here comes the 2x4
Call her on this. You demanded "No Contact". "No Contact" has to include transparency. If there is no transparency, then there is no ability to rebuild trust. If there is no attempt to rebuild trust, then there is no working on the M.
She just tested you and knocked down your wall. You gave in and allowed her to continue the R with OM.
Hold firm. You will not share her. If she want's to have ANY contact with OM, she has to leave.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.