Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

Thanks GIMA,

First, you seem like a pretty bright guy, so I hope you already recognize the classic passive-agreesive nature of your mother.

Yep. I do now (and have for a while). For a long time I just saw her as pleasant, agreeable, and helpful.

As a man, he should be able to see you are doing the right thing. Maybe he can, but your mom has too much control? Would fit with the dynamic. On that topic, who is the "leader" of the family - your dad or your mother? And I don't mean the "apparent" leader, but the real one.

I'd have to say my mom is the real leader. If my Dad wants to do something, he does it without really asking her, but as far as family relations, etc my Mom is in charge.

As I'm sure you know by now, you are going to have to stand your ground on this battle. This is a BIG one when it comes to your M. All you can do now to show your W you are choosing her over your family is to show her by your actions.

Agreed and understood.

Keep expecting her to vent at and on you. Until she separates you from your family, it will keep coming. And she needs to get the anger out.

yep

In my sitch with my mother, it played out and, as usual, the truth came out about how my mother was acting and how she was pitting me and my siblings (and even my step father) against one another. While I have a great R now with my step father and sib's, that was not always the case.

I am already seeing this. The only reason I am now seeing what is happening is that my siblings turn right around and come back to me. They didn't do this previously because they didn't want to hurt me, cause conflict, etc.