I thought she was getting more comfortable with me. The out of the blue trip and crazy distance when she got back was just weird though. I was fine until she got home. Within a few hours she excluded me from dinner (made just enough for her and S7), told me she never comes in our room any more so she doesn't get my laundry (I am welcome to throw mine in with hers) and I just felt ignored or ostracized in my own house. Listening to the neighbor talk about my W smoking and getting drunk with her was a bit to process too. I just still can't see this as "her."
First, the person you think is your W is NOT. So, she is not HER.
Also, I have been told the same things about the laundry, dinner, etc. Just let it slide off - I know, easier said than done.
OK, the whipsaw of her being in a good mood when she was away then a bad mood once she got home. I had this happen to me on one of my trips out of town, but from your persepctive. The first time I went out of town without my W, I felt a complete release of all pressure - b/c I wasn't around her. On the way back from the trip, I could feel my anxiety building the closer I got home. My brother told me this was something he experienced in his sitch (his W had an A) and was not surprised when I did too.
Your W may have had a similar experience. Just understand she is under a lot of stress and pressure just like you. She may have been in a bad mood b/c of the situation, not b/c of YOU. And, it is also the down cyle of the roller coaster.
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I'll have to think about something I can do for myself. I may sign up for a 5k run taking place next month.
That's a start. It can be something as simple as trying a restaurant you have been wanting to try for lunch but haven't had the time. The point is to make yourself happy, even if only for a little while.
I also think you need to focus more on detaching. It takes a while to get there, and you will have up and downs until you do. Just keep at it and keep the focus on YOU.
