Thank you for such a thorough and helpful post. I hope I have understood all you have said.
Rejection I am like a sadist in this respect I take being rejected over and over by him yet do not have the guts to reject him myself. His actions confuse me.
At the moment he will - text me to tell me what he is up to. - email me to tell me what he is up to. - meet for meals occasionally. - If I initiate a hug he will respond (he even went in for a cheek peck once I think by accident )
I feel like I am being fobbed off by these emails and texts as they are safe. Would rejecting him make him take more of a risk with me? And is rejecting him ignoring these emails and texts?
I am a busy, do lots of fun things person but I am never sure how to convey that without it looking like I am trying?
Dating I totally agree with you on these points. Dating for me gave me back so much confidence that was taken away when h left. There is nothing like it to boost the PMA.
My question would be that I have other men interested in me and do date but h and I never discuss other people. He has never mention ow to me. I had to find out all via facebook. One interesting thing was from when he moved my stuff for me when we sold the house. His reaction made me smile. He also tried to 'do down' the other man by being derogatory about him.
Quote:
A funny thing was that when we took a load of junk to the dump, the guy that was there was chatting to me and said 'you and your partner' and I replied that he wasn't my partner and the guy said 'oh, in that case can I have your number?' I declined politely but h asked what we were talking about and so I told him. He looked really surprised but when we were driving away he asked again if the guy had really asked for my number. I like the fact that it played on his mind lol.
We never really get these opportunities though. How would h know other men were interested in me?
I am so tired of doing this
Quote:
"if I just hang in there and show him how much I love him, if I just treat him nice enough, if I just show him how wrong I have been and what a bad wife I have been and allow him to keep seeing this OW, maybe he will see the error of his ways or maybe the affair will die and he will come running back to me."
How do I increase his interest when contact is so limited anyway? We have no children, we have now sold our house. There are no longer 'reasons' to contact me yet he still does.
How do I stop trying? Is s'howing my interest is gone' ignoring him?
I take being rejected over and over by him yet do not have the guts to reject him myself. His actions confuse me. 
