Had a big talk - he still maintains I've "said I'm changing before and I didn't" and that "he doesn't trust the changes will be for real" but for the first time ever when I asked "well how will you know I've changed if you are not even willing to trust the changes you see" he admitted that his IC told him he may know in his gut. He is a very intellectual nerd type guy so he looks at "odds" that I will change and says they don't look good. But he admitted his IC may be right - that he will know in his gut and will be able to trust it.
That is a change, people.
And, he and I talked a tad bit more openly about our sexual problems. Before he wouldn't even talk about them. He just said nothing will change and shut down. BUt he opened up and said that there have been problems from the beginning - again with the "if they haven't changed in eight years, they never will" but with an openness to question what it might look like were we to work through these problems - theoretically, of course.
It's not much. It's not hte big romantic running back to my arms and swearing undying love and committment to me but it's baby steps. It gives me a tiny little wee ray of hope after quite a dark day.
