I read through this post and am so sorry for the roller coaster of emotions you have had to endure.
Just remind yourself that you are doing the right things for you, you are IC and improving yourself... you are not letting him pressure you into doing something that you know would just lead to the same place again.
He keeps saying "now or never" over and over... but if you notice, so far, never has not come since he keeps saying it. Stay strong, he might be deluding himself that everything could be fine and he can change but deep down even he knows it is a lie.
A person can change or a person will change... they are two different things. Words are just that... words and the moment they are spoken they lose any power. Tell him the time for words is over and it is now the time for actions, you need to see that he is doing something not hear that he will 'eventually' do something.
I am sure that you will hear alot more 'now or never's as he tries to manipulate and take charge of the situation... you just have to remember that he no longer holds the power over you.
He is tugging at your heart as hard as he can and, yes, it hurts... he will try every trick in the book. Just remember, you know his book... it is time for him to read yours.
M- 11 y H- 40 Me- 41 D (1st M) 19 S (1st M) 17 First EA (w/OOW)discovered 2000 Third EA (w/OOW & phone) discovered 02/06 SSM (total) 3 1/2 years
