First Timer

[wolverine1997]

3rd day of vacation. Went to Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. Really interesting tour. Couldn't get daughter off of cell phone and texting. Tomorrow we will probably go to China Town. Gotta get more pictures and gifts.

Intersting point here. On way back to hotel my wife calls daughter to talk to her. Wife has been calling daughter about two or three times a day to see how kids are doing. Well this time after talking to daughter wife asks to speak to me. This is the first time that we have talked since we left on Wed.

She then tells me that her car stopped on her and the police had it towed. She had to call a neighbor to come and pick her up to take her home. The car is impounded and won't run. She calls her dad who says that he will send his mechanic friend to get car tomorrow and check it out. I know that she doesn't have any money to have it fixed. And even though the car is in my name I'm not getting it fixed. She says that she can put repairs on her dad's credit card and pay him back.

She then starts to break down and cry a little and tell me how she was so upset earlier. She then says that she didn't want to tell me and ruin the trip for me. I asked her questions about the car and what happened. I tried to sound concerned about the car without sounding worried about her. I hope she gets car fixed by Monday, or I don't know how she will get to work all week. I don't know if I should help her get to work or not. She said that she had to talk to her dad's friend and that she would call me back later tonight. I doubt that I will hear back from her tonight. I guess self sufficiency and independence from everyone is not as easy as she thinks it is. At some point she is going to learn that life is so much easier when people are working together for a common cause. John Donne said it best, "No man is an Island".

[wolverine1997]

Well this is my last night in NY. Kinda sad to be leaving but at the same time kinda happy to get back. I enjoy being in my own home more than being in a hotel. And everything here is so expensive. Plus travel expenses everyday are killing me. Still it was nice to get away from the madness that is my life.

Didn't call wife once! Well, I did call her to make sure she was picking us up from airport, but that was it. She called my daughter about 3 times a day everyday. She then told her that she was making plans to take them out of town later in the year. I believe she is trying to compete with me by traveling with kids. I want to see how she is going to do this with no money. I know she would love to be in NY. But she could have come if she wanted but her ego and arrogance would never allow her to talk to me about it. Oh well, she missed a good time. My next trip may be to Savannah GA later in year to see family. Not sure if I will take kids or not, probably will.

[wolverine1997]

Well, I'm back home and things are back to normal. Wife if being a jerk. She didn't talk to me the whole way back from the airport. She didn't even ask the kids about the trip. She just complained about having to take off from work to come and get us. Never did she mention that she had to use my car to go to work since her's was still in the shop! Funny how the other day when the car stopped on her she was so needy and vulnerable. She was nice and reasonable. Now that the car is being repaired and she has things under control she is back to being arrogant and cocky. Funny how that works out.

[wolverine1997]

Well, I'm back home and things are back to normal. Wife is being a jerk. She didn't talk to me the whole way back from the airport. She didn't even ask the kids about the trip. She just complained about having to take off from work to come and get us. Never did she mention that she had to use my car to go to work since her's was still in the shop! Funny how the other day when the car stopped on her she was so needy and vulnerable. She was nice and reasonable. Now that the car is being repaired and she has things under control she is back to being arrogant and cocky. Funny how that works out.

[wolverine1997]

Finally, some good news! Boss informed me that I will receive a pay raise! This comes at a good time. Got bill to pay. Slipped up a little on going dark with wife. Still only talk to her when necessary, but since getting back from vacation I think that I have been trying to start conversations more than I should. Gotta get back to my game plan. Also gotta get back to my workout routine. Really got off schedule while on vacation.

[wolverine1997]

Haven't posted in over a week. Not much to report. Wife still isn't saying much to me. I've been semi-dark with her with no results either way. I try not to respond when she makes negative comments to me.

She accused me today of snooping around in her car. It wasn't true but I must admit that I have in the past snooped in our car, but that was quite a while ago and I have stopped.

Got a chance to work out yesterday and went to play basketball with some buddies. We played a couple of hours and didn't lose a game. That was great. I always have a good time with the guys.

It's been a hard last few days. Detaching is not so easy. Really been missing wife a lot lately. Haven't acted on any impulses or thoughts but I must be honest, the desire has been there. Going dark/semi-dark has helped. We'll see what happens.

Kids will be headed back to school next week (Yea!). That is good news for me, but not so much for the kids. HaHa.

[wolverine1997]

Taking daughter to school to get her schedule for next week. Going to stop and have breakfast first. When I get back I have to do some yard work and housework. If I have time left I'm going to go and work out. Kinda got out of my routine when I went on vacation.

I need to work a little overtime so that I can buy a few toys for myself. I saw this pool table that I really would like to have. Vacation set me back a little. I don't mind going to work since it helps me to keep my mind off of my situation.

[wolverine1997]

Need you guys opinion. I'm thinking about writing my wife a letter just to communicate my thoughts. What do you think?

[wolverine1997]

Really need a little guidance here.

I read this magazine article that talks about the effects of divorce on teenage children. It was very interesting and informative. The article talked about how many counselors have changed their opinion on how older children are able to handle divorce better than younger children. Evidence shows that adolescent children are very much affected by divorce.

I brought the magazine how last yesterday from work with the intention of asking my wife to read it. She and the kids were over the inlaws so I set it on the counter hoping to show it too her when they got home. By the time they got home I was in the bed asleep, I had to go to work this morning.

Anyway, when I got home from work a few minutes ago I got the magazine and asked my wife if she would read it. She told me that she saw it laying on the counter for the last few days and already read it. I asked her if she was sure since I only brought it home last night. She then sternly told me that she read the article and it doesn't change her mind, and that when she gets her money together she is still gone.

I left and went into the family room. Her comments really left me shaken and plunged another dagger into my heart. I had hoped that over time she would soften her stance. I haven't made any remarks about us or the divorce in a couple months now. So far no progress. I gotta shake this off and I will. But right now it feels like a punch in the gut.

[wolverine1997]

Just found out a few hours ago that my grandfather just past away. He was 91 years old and had been sick for quite a while. He had been in the hospital on and off for the last year or so. We know it was coming but didn't expect it to be tonight. Still hasn't really hit me yet. I know it will be a lot worse when I see my mom and grandma. Just when I thought that things couldn't get much worse.