Newcomer, want to keep my hope alive!

[iwantittowork]

Journaling for a bit, but I'd like some thoughts if you have any on the comments at the end of the post here.

I picked up "Learned Optimism" And already see that I needed this book. Turns out, I am optimistic when bad things happen, but extremely pessimistic when good things happen. Interesting. I am only partway into the book, but just the understanding it imparts on my thought process, and the way its presented speaks to me in ways other books have not.

A must have for people like K4D, I believe...(And myself...)

Last night, took d8 out, had some dinner, then grabbed a movie to watch at home for the evening with her, cooked some popcorn and sat down, W was on the couch with us. At one point in the film, d8 and I are laughing hysterically about a fart joke in the movie, and I notice that the W is working extremely hard at not laughing. She makes it about another minute, and then gets up to leave us. I ask her if she is taking off, and she mutters something about going upstairs for the evening as she can't watch this ridiculous movie anymore.. I try not to read into these things, but that just strikes me as odd..

This AM, I had not grabbed the mail, so grabbed that and brought it in. In it, is a package for our local community college admissions for my W, so I ask her, are you thinking of heading for college classes? I was genuinely interested, as she has mentioned it over the last year of so. She quickly snatches the packet from me, and is clearly irritated and says, she is thinking about but has not decided on it yet. I tried to ease her up a bit, saying I was genuinely interested, and not trying to start anything or say anything bad. She just turned away, and went to do what she was doing..

On the one hand, though, I know where my W is currently and at least part of what she is thinking. I believe that she feels that once we get D, I'll have to support her while she retrains and goes to college. I believe that's why she got mad when I asked about it. I don't know how realistic that thinking is from her, she's not expressed interest in going back to school, etc, until contemplating a a D.