I think that down the road, he will reconnect fully w/your son. Right now, he's focusing on other things, things that have no bearing on you, your son or the relationship. He's off in the teen years and doesn't want to be bothered w/being an adult right now. As he progresses through the crisis, he will begin to reconnect and the reconnections will remain in place. What you've experienced are moments of sanity and not the real deal.
As he gets closer to the end of his crisis, that is when you'll be able to see just what type of man he will become. For now, he's still growing up and it's difficult to make any determination as to whether he'll be the man and/or father you want for your son later on. He's a work in progress at this time, or as I always say....he's not baked yet.
Keep the focus on you and your child for now. It's unfortunate that you have to pick up the slack, but you have to do it because your man is a child once again himself and cannot help you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
