UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach

[Lost Rabbit]

Hi Nell

Fantastic list of positives, certainly encouraged me to do my own, although ironically they all look very similar to yours lol!

Im totally with you on the "how can he see me GAL & 180ing" when he is so far away, your one step ahead of me your H has admitted to missing you! thats a biggy means despite what he is getting from his R with OW its still missing something! my H after asking me how I was and my reply was just ok, he stated "some up days and some down days" and I so wanted to say "are you asking me or telling me about you" lol, and every time he has phoned he has been too quick to say "I spose thats my problem" when I never made it to sound like that! No matter how bad they are behaving you can guarantee they are human enough to feel sorrow, loss and guilt exactly like we do! We can only say as I saw in another post..

We are sorry it got into this mess, we take responsibility for our part, but we still want to learn from it and move on! (doing mysteriously as in they dont know if you want to move on with them or move on with someone else)

Honestly I know how hard it is, and Im getting eaten up by the possibility of another woman. Its the one thing for me that rattles my cage, although thankfully he never sees that, and I havent spoken of it all to my S and only slipped up with mother and that sure isnt going to happen again. I not only have to contend with losing my H but knowing that my own family would happily sh*t stir to make it worse..

Like you Im beginning to wonder if a bit more contact would be a good idea but Im sticking it out for a bit longer on the NC front.