thank you STronger. WHy is it so hard to believe this? Why do I put myself down so much? Why is it if I don't hear that I'm worth coming over for, I don't believe I'm worth coming over for?
Yeah< H has a lot of good ideas on "how" to discipline S but I'm the one doing it 90% of the time. Don't get me wrong, H is a very involved father. Just that since he decided to run off, I'm doing a lot.
Guess what -= a month ago, H would have told me "See you never change" and stormed out. The other morning, he calmly communicated that this is the issue and he didn't run off. He came back. He b***tched and moaned today while we had "family day" but you know what? When we got home, H talked to me calmly again. Not the constant nitpicking and screaming and storming out of a month ago. He admitted his part in why he was stressed out and even said it wasn't me. That is a miracle, people. It's always someone else in his mind - usually me.
Then I demonstrated my 180's - remember all the crap about him wanting me to be cleaner and do more stuff around the house? I worked on organizing the garage and did some heavy yardwork - while he was here playing with S so he could see me!!!! He's not running away as much - he's coming back after arguments and owning up - and I keep reminding him how much I've changed in the not-blowing-my-temper catagory and he admitted he noticed.
I'm so impatient - he's not fully back and god I want him - he still lives somewhere else and swears there's an OW - although I don't see her ! Remember the Brady Bunch - when Jan made up that she had a boyfriend so that people would think she was desirable enough to have a bf? I call H's OW "George Glass" b'c he is accountable for himself 99% of the time.
Anyhow. Remember I said the other night when we talked for four hours H actually opened up to one thing that I did that hurt him a long time ago? Well this thing happened at the Rennaisance Faire. So today he brings up he wants to go to the Rennaisance Faire - emphasizing that I'm not invited because I humiliated him in public last year there. He swears George Glass won't be going - and offers to be up front about who is going with him. But rubs my face in it that I"m not invited.
So all my changes - he hasn't noticed that much.
And, although he swears no OW is going - he boasts "now that we are separated I have every right to go with who I want and spend whatever money I want." Now why does he need to strut this independance at the very time he is back and acting more like my H than he has in six months?
I guess I have to "Keep ironing and watching family guy" - just seem to hardly notice that he's going to the RF without me. But it gets my goat - I guess that is why he's doing it? I have no idea. Advice people?
