Exploring abandonment issues; specifically, do I unconsciously seek out and pursue unavailable people, those who will abandon me? Interesting stuff in googling "abandaholics."

This was also helpful, just in terms of getting "unstuck":
http://www.thirdage.com/today/dating/part-ii-trying-to-get-over-someone

M60
H52
D20
M14 yrs
OW-old gf from 1986
bomb-5/18/08
H filed for D-9/10/08
D final 4/24/09
xH remarried (not OW) 2012