No, apparently to WAW a marriage is binary. It's either perfect or it's a catastrophe; you're either matched or you're doomed; you either see everything the same way or you're polar opposites.
You could not have explained it any better!
Just one of the many thinking errors of the WAS--and the LBS in crisis, and for that matter, most of us in crisis. Binary/dichotomous thinking, catastrophizing, overgeneralizing, mental filtering to see ONLY the negative, jumping to conclusions, minimizing/maximizing in perception, emotional thinking, labelling, blaming, focusing on what one can't control, personalizing. Cognitive errors that lead us to make mistake after mistake because they control our perceptions and make us wear dark glasses 24/7. Sound familiar to anyone?
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
