My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

Thanks, Theo. But the focus in all of this is on ME. Not on the relationship, but of ME in any relationship. As in Why do I keep finding relationships in which I can be devastated and abandoned in creative new ways? Why do I continue to be attracted to emotionally unavailable people? What about my response to people over the years has led me to be so completely and utterly isolated at the age of 53? Finding my issues and how to deal with them, not the dynamics of the relationship--because I'm really tired of thinking about that.

Done the MMPI, Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, and probably a few other exercises to gain insight into myself. I think we're essentially doing the same things here.

Injustice--yeah, still have an issue with that, and I consider it rather juvenile and an ineffective response on my part. But there it is. I think it's ultimately because I tend to see myself as a victim--which I'm trying to work my way out of--I wasn't the one who destroyed our family and sinned grievously, but he continues to thrive while I struggle; he is still perceived as wonderful while I seem to be perceived as broken and deservedly so. And I don't think I'll get much further in healing as long as I persist with that cheeseless tunnel.

Re: No More Mr. Nice Guy--yeah, written for men, but (to quote an old Irish Spring commercial) I like it too. I am, in large part, Ms. Nice Girl. And it hasn't served me well.

Yep, looking for my pathologies so that I can hopefully work through them. Tired of hurting.