WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Ok - I'm bracing for the avaianche of 2x4's.

She sent an email reply which to me seemed frought full of deflections, denials and her typical bs. Stronger offered another perspective where it hinted that she wanted to talk. I didn't see it but after some back and forth I called her and asked her what she wanted to talk about

She started with her typical denials and bs so it didn't start very good. I kept holding the line that I'm not going to listen to any more lies. I will not have any relationship let alone a conversation with someone who is not open, honest and respectful

She kept trying to duck/dodge by changing to blaming me about the past stuff but I kept it in front that none of that excuses/justifies what she had done. Ultimately, she admitted it and then started to say she was sorry and how she never meant to hurt me. She tried to rationalize it to me but I just told her there was no excuse

We then started talking about the trust that has been lost between us and without that we can not have any relationship - coparenting or otherwise

So I told her I don't know where to go from here as I'm still dealing with all the emotions to figure out what I'm going to do. She said that she thinks it would help if we talked about how things have hurt each of us in the past to understand what was going in each others heads to heal and see what kind of trust we can rebuild

I told her that I'm not going to work on any relationship, copareting or otherwise, if there are others involved. She said the guy from Nov dropped out of the picture (I already knew that) as he didn't mean anything.

We did leave it that if she wanted to talk or do something together she should let me know. She said that she felt the same

So it was a 3.5 hour call but it was the discussion we should have had a long time ago

I'm still not sure what I want but I did get annoyed again with her this morning. She called to tell me about a peach festival going on today. I asked if she was telling me because she wanted us to go together or was it an FYI. She said she didn't really think about it to that point. I just cut her short and said thanks for the info and hung up. I know mlthings aren't going to change over nite but these games are pissing me off.......