I'm sex starved, he has EA with OOW

[Bagheera]

I wasn't trying to make you feel attacked or put you on the defensive. I was identifying with you, and trying to introduce you to the process of repairing an SSM.

It's very obvious that you won't be able to do any repair work *until* you can get beyond your own intense anger and resentment. You have EVERY RIGHT to that anger: affairs are particularly insidious at destroying trust in an R...for a very long time afterward. Your instincts are probably quite correct in that his online & phone EA behavior is continuing today: trust them. As such, no real repair work can occur until *he* comes clean and stops such behavior: for good, and not just temporarily after he gets caught.

Have you tried to get you and him into either individual or couple's counseling? You are both in need of it: you for the stress of coping with your ongoing medical conditions and crises (along with the R problems), and him for his addiction to an on-line or phone "fix" with an OW. You could use the outside help.

Do something nice for yourself this weekend. Treat yourself in some small way, and shift your attention from him back to you for a bit. Be good to yourself.

-- B.