Lines of communication are staying open...he will even initiate conversations. Small "courtship" gestures happening. We were at an arcade for our son's birthday and the two of us played The Fast & The Furious for half an hour together. So last night he stopped at a game store and brought home some wild xbox racing game that was for US to play.
Last night he said two MAGIC WORDS to me..."I disagree." Not, You're wrong, or you can't say that, or you shouldn't feel that way.
Actually it did start that way...we were having a convo about a very touchy topic concerning the family business. And he started by saying You can't say that. I said, I can say anything I want. He said don't get mad, or you shouldn't be mad or whatever, and I said, I can be mad if I want to.
but we kept talking and then he AMAZINGLY said some things like well, I disagree with that. In a normal tone of voice. And he said, he could understand why I would feel the way I did, and maybe he should listen to another perspective that he hadn't thought of. So we talked it through, and it ended up being a very good conversation, where he understood that I just wanted him to CONSIDER what I was talking about and not be naive...and I considered his points and that maybe I was more worried about something than I needed to be.
we both talked about how confusing his parents could be, because they are so great about some things and then...well, they do very frustrating things and treat us like little kids in other ways. And he was able to understand that you can have TWO feelings about people. You can still love someone and be upset by something they did. It's not the end of the world.
So anyway, seemingly small things that are HUGE. And then I rewarded him.
