Not a hijack and don't worry about it if it was. I think the idea of DB'ing is to get us to a place of strength, confidence and happiness - which is where we should have been all along. It is only from that position that we stand a chance of saving our M.
On the love tank/bank issue, until our spouses are at a point to want to work on the M, WE are the only ones putting anything in the bank/tank. That's the point of GAL-ng. In a "normal" healthy R, both partners add to and take from each other's tanks/banks.
