L R, Sorry I have been off the boards for a few days but caught up on your stich & am so glad to hear you're on the upswing! I really relate to your situation too because you're my age, & I do feel like my H is now an alien. You are doing fantastic, and just wanted to send my admiration! Sorry I was not around to reply to your earlier requests but E N handled them wisely IMHO! Also Girlfromoz, great advice. Am trying to keep in mind always these basics facts that I cannot control what H does & focus on my actions. Keep up the PMA, that is what I'm trying to work on. :-)
Oz I think you have hit the nail on the head! H was/is before all this happened a dear sweet man who wouldnt have said boo to a goose, it hit me hard but quick that I could no longer control/wrap this man around my finger so to speak, so for me the penny dropped quickly because it was so in my face.
As for what to say to him, its more a worry that I am DB'ing to the best of my ability which is the concern, the screaming, shouting, begging and throwing myself at him didnt work so the 180 is not too. My only worry is that it will be seen as getting my revenge which apparently what he has accused me of doing before..
Yesterday was about me realising that what I had allowed him to do to me, regardless of him being sweet and kind to make me feel so unwomanly was wrong and he had regardless of whether he meant to wittled away at me till I felt so ungirly and sexy! Even the fact that because of him not being interested in sexy underwear made me feel powerless to attract him.. Im not really explaining myself well, but Im sure you know what I mean.
I have some self respect and had always said I wouldnt accept used goods back again, but now I am realising that I may have already without knowing and yet if he is having an affair or living with someone is not brave enough to admit it, and tbh Im gonna make him tell me, he owes me that much at least!
Someone who does not know Im DB'ing complemented me on GAL and getting on with things which was nice today. And lots of compliments on how skinny I now look, which H did notice I looked good both times he visited.
Anyway its been a long day out so Im tired and probably not making a great deal of sense, thanks for stopping by ladies I will go check your sitchs and hope you have had a nice day!
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Why does life keep throwing how crap it is back into your face? Im watching "neighbours" and of all the tunes they have to play is the "moonlight sonata" the one tune H used to play on the piano! Im seem to feeling a bit H sized hole tonight, although friday always is hard as he used to come home early and we would go out to dinner! Need to seriously find a GAL thing to do on friday evenings!
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Oh dear what a winger I sounded in my last post.. well that can stop, no posting when tired for me I think. Had a fab day with friends and looking forward to tomorrow, riding madam and a party/bbq in the evening, even wondering if they will be some male interest, my ego needs boosting lol! Hope you all slept well and have nice things planned for today. Im off to bed now planning a nice layin tomorrow if the moglet will let me
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I know the feeling of not being able to attract H with sexy underwear etc. I went through that as well, it is only now that he is starting to take notice of these things, so try to stress over that too much at the moment.
Yes, GALing the best thing ever invented, the nights are hard and you really do have to try and find something to do, anything, start small if you have to work up to something bigger.
BTW you aren't a whinger, this is what here is for, to vent and get out any frustrations or whatever is bugging you.
Rabbit - I echo Oz's words ... and don't talk to me about whinging ... I have been the best at it lately but that's why it's good to do it here - people can choose to read it or not!! No harm done.
It's 09.50hrs with you now so hope that you are getting ready to gather up the reigns and take madam through her paces today?!
I must laugh at your Moonlight Sonata though ... I told you before that we were behind in Aus in regards Corrie and Emmerdale. Last night, Marlon threw Donna out and really let rip on her, saying that he was filing ... is there no getting away from this hideous D situation, even when we choose to watch something light and fanciful on TV?!!
Like all things, there's always reminders wherever you look ... it's like buying a new car and then seeing 20 the same in your first hour out - or choosing a new plant only to see that everyone else at the cash register has the same one. Mindblowing!
Have a good day ((Rabbit))
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Well its four thirty here in limbo land, I have been shopping and bought some wine for tonight, my mate C said as its she is driving its my duty to have a drink bless her, bought some funky jewellery to go with my outfit for tonight, apparently we have a marquee and party games to boot, although it will take more than a glass to get me to play party games!
I rode madam today, did some schooling so we practised some of our poncy stuff, it is gutting not to be able to go home and tell H how I have finally cracked the nut, madam is well "just madam" bless her, she doesnt give you anything the easy way she makes you work for every cent, and then has the cheek to say "why didnt you say so" when she does it right the little minx, my ME time with HER is so special and along with all your moral support, my dear friends and cat kisses its really whats keeping me going!
Anyway need to turn myself outta "horseywoman" as H used to call me and into "wow! its rabbitwoman", and go break some hearts, I should wish eh lol!
ETA last night was the first time I have been really tired at bedtime, snuggled down and realised I havent taken my tablets, up till now the worry of tomorrow has made me get up and go take them, last night I actually said "s*d it I can deal with it, and if I cant I will take them tomorrow night"
Last edited by Lost Rabbit; 09/12/0903:37 PM.
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Not being able to tell H about our day is, I think, the most frustrating. I'm very much a 'spill it all out' person where H could go out and buy a new laptop or major purchase and not feel that he had to tell me about it until I spotted said object!!
Keep telling us all about your stuff and we will continue to tell you!! It works that way!
Catcha later.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Had a lovely evening last night, drank far too much but best mate C was on duty to make sure I didnt get silly, and didnt txt H.. It was mostly horsey mates and a few OH's and we played silly party games, laughed ourselves silly, I did get some male attention (yard owners dad) albeit it about twenty years too old for me, but bless his heart he made me feel womanly again and I had a little dance with him, which was so nice to be touched and held.
C made sure I was in and cat was tucked up too, but I got in a tizz about finding my phone after she had gone and finally that led to angry tears, probably the first real tears I have let go since this all happened. Anyway head is fine nothing that a couple of paracetamol and cup of coffee isnt fixing although I have got an upset stomach, hope that settles down soon!
Was woken at nine thirty by mother who had rang to say that dear friend had gone to be with her beloved husband at four oclock this morning, she asked why I sounded not with it and was told I hadnt rolled in till three oclock this morning as I had been out partying. Considering it only took her a day to relay miss information to my sister which then got back to H I wondered what H will find out I have been doing this time lol ..
Now my dilemma, Obviously dear friend has passed away, now do I let H know, or do I assume the grapevine will tell him anyway, H said he would phone in a few days, which really should be today at the latest as he phoned last wednesday. Bearing in mind he has advanced from phoning from every seven days to six Im not holding my breathe, but I really dont want to ring him before his time is up, if that makes sense. Or should I just email him the information, as there are no funeral arrangements and tbh I dont want to go if he is going to be there telling everyone he has left me. Advice on this one folks is needed.
Anyway off to rehydrate myself and have an easy restful day me thinks!
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
