wife left, wants divorce, possibly bipolar

[ryepatch]

Hey Ryepatch...
if your W is bipolar, I would say that using the DB methods can be very risky...and probably have to be adjusted some - at least in terms of interacting with your W - .

-Carlos.

How would they have to be adjusted? I've been having this problem of not knowing whether to tell her i'm standing by her, waiting (of course, we're not in communication) or doing a 180 and acting like i don't care and am not emotionally devastated.

i've been going to bipolar support groups, with both bipolar people and family members. . .

i don't know if she's bipolar, though, that's a theory that our therapist says "fits with all the information."

i can't believe that the depressive episodes she's gone through in the last year can be accounted for by her wanting to leave me. . . i see it as the other way around, that she wanted to leave me because she was depressed. it would just be day and night. . . and most of the time, she's so loving. . . right up until the end.

i read "bipolar disorder" by mondimore, and have read a lot of stuff online. but i can't find advice on how to deal with a bipolar WAW who's not currently talking to you. . . how long do i wait? i can file a petition for conciliation and get her into one court ordered counseling session. . . also, i may want to leave town and i'll have to drop off the cats with her, which she has said she can't deal with them. . . i know this'll set her off, but it seems like the biggest reason she's cut off contact with me (and doesn't want to see the cats and doesn't want anything that reminds her of her life) is she can't deal with that and also move on at the same time. . . it's been three months, and she can't talk to me?

i'm pretty damn sure she's still in love with me.

as for me, i just started antidepressants, i'm looking for work, trying to meet people online and make new friends, going to the same coffeeshop everyday and sitting on the patio under the orange trees and trying to be alone with my thoughts. . . all progress.

but i would need to leave town to fully heal or move on, i think, and give up the cats. i just don't want the responsibility of giving them away, i don't want to make that decision of turning them over to a shelter. the blood should be on her hands.