Back to love BAnk/TAnk - sorry if this is a hijack - don't a lot of people doing DB feel like the love tank is only being filled one way? I certainly do. In my effort to get H back, I keep trying to meet his emotional needs. But there's not a whole lot coming back. Hopefully someday that will change , but am I the only one who feels this way? Doesn't that preclude the whole premise? Aren't people supposed to be filling love tanks for each other? ARg! It just made me sad that he doesn't care to fill up my love tank.
Not a hijack and don't worry about it if it was. I think the idea of DB'ing is to get us to a place of strength, confidence and happiness - which is where we should have been all along. It is only from that position that we stand a chance of saving our M.
On the love tank/bank issue, until our spouses are at a point to want to work on the M, WE are the only ones putting anything in the bank/tank. That's the point of GAL-ng. In a "normal" healthy R, both partners add to and take from each other's tanks/banks.
On way back from the bbq festival thingy today, W is talking to me about something. During the conversation, she pokes me in the shoulder/arm twice. She does this to others when she talks to people, so might not be a big deal. But, it shows she isn't repulsed by me and apparently feels comfortable enough to touch me, at least in a friendly way.
Anyway, off to get a haircut. S is spending the night with a friend, so its me and the girls tonight. Need to find something to throw on the grill.
Pretty good Weekend. Played golf today, then pizza party at the end of S's football practice.
W continues to warm up. She's acting like my W more than at any other point since any of this madness started. Lots of conversation, all light and fun. Joking with the kids as we drove home tonight (that part was started by me).
Strangely, I don't feel any impatience like I have before. I don't feel attraction to W either. I can appreciate that this lack of attraction is likely due to the empty love tank. But, it is still how I feel. Maybe I am not impatient b/c of the lack of attraction. Don't know.
I hope that if, and when, W decides to work on the M my feelings will come back. A little scary to think of the sitch if they don't. But, that's cart before the horse talk.
Well, we will see where this goes. I plan on having a good time no matter what.
GIMA - I wonder if there is an interesting cause/effect relationship going on between your empty love tank and your W's change in attitude? The timing could be just a coincidence, but it seems like when you started to let go and not care about her as much she begins to warm up?
It is the textbook occurance that we hear about all the time if that is what is happening. I would be willing to bet that your change in 'feelings' towards your W and her attitude are interrelated??
ME/XW:47 S21, D19, S15, S14 M:21 T:26 W moved 6/10 I filed 7/10 D final 4/12 remarried 8/12 W wants to R 12/10 and 4/11 but I decline
