I'm new wondering if this works...

[BigJohn]

This idea of lack of responsibility goes back before OW - H has a habit, as does his whole family I might add - of an attitude of "they are doing this to screw me" "it's everyone else's fault" etc.

Now I am finally taking responsibility for things I should have seen a year ago or more in my own behavior, thoughts, attitudes, emotions. But H not only has WAS syndrome, he has the added stubborness and poor-me-ness of his character.

Hope,

These are traits I see in my W- not a good combination. They certainly make our jobs as LBSs much more difficult.

You are getting some great advice as usual from Stronger. When you make the changes you need to make for you- and not for someone else- that's the catalyst that makes everything fall into place.

Keep your chin up!