Wait.....wait....just wait a minute! Didn't you say that she had talked to a relative about all the affairs she has had from the time you were dating until shorly after her child was born?!! Anytime a bride of two months has an affair, something is very wrong. This woman is sick! She just told her cousin she was falling in love with OM and they had been on a big trip to the Bahamas.....that is probably why her check is so short!
I don't know what to think Shane. You were a LOT more upset when you found out she wasn't sending enough money than you were when you found out she had been scr@wing the entire time you were M to her. What is the deal? Is money more important than the fact your M was a lie? Are you saying that you are ready to take her back just to insure a check coming in for the family each month? Again, this woman has very serious problems and you are nuts if you look the other way and not deal with her getting to a psy doctor before she comes back into a MR with you. This woman isn't over the OM! They probably had a fight or at best OM has dumped her. I promise you she will be finding a new OM right around the corner. She will continue to jump from one man to the other until she is completely trashed b/c she has a problem that you can't fix and M can't fix. Her family can't fix her and I doubt even old fashion love could fix her without some hard counseling sessions. She is a nurse, for goodness sake, and she should recognize the signs, but then maybe it's hard to see it in one's self.
I simply am bowled over that you were all gushy with her the day after you found out from her aunt about her A's and yet reacted this way over the money. Well, she played her cards right b/c as soon as she started singing, "There's no place like home" you were ready to throw out the welcome mat. As if you didn't have a choice about this? That is why I think the bottom line is all about the money.
I have seen this exact story take place with the characters reversed and it was the woman wanting to know why the man wasn't sending more money and he would say he was sorry that that was just how it was, and the woman acting like you have acted....willing to take an adulterous spouse back in her bed simply for money. This MR needs much, much help and healing and you better think real hard and give this some time, Shane. If you aren't careful, you will be setting yourself and your kids up for another "bomb".
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
