No need to ponder over things that haven't or may not ever happen. Things are what they are right now. Take it as such.

Take things one day at a time. Heal. Get over the betrayal (I think this is the main thing you haven't gotten over). Do all this by GAL.

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER