trying hard to figure things out

[twistfigure]

Just when I think I have stopped hurting it starts all over again. Haven't even had any contact with him today but for some reason I have been very emotional all day. Despite how much of a ass he is being I want to talk to him so bad. I just don't understand how he can just pretend we aren't/weren't married. I hurt all the time and he acts as though nothing is wrong. If we do talk it is rare and always iniated by me. He will not answer any questions I ask him so I just try to tell him about me. he will not acknowledge any of the things I say about future plans for my life but he will ask if I mention I'm going out who am I going with. If I did not contact him he would not contact me at all. Seriously if I didn't initiate conversation over our work IM he would not talk to me- it would literally gone from dropping the bomb to 12 months later me getting D papers. I just can't see how you go from being best friends and being all lovey dovey to the next days saying ILYBNILWY.

Anyway on the house hunt I found a gorgeous 1849 Victorian home that needs a little work. I am going in the morning to look at it. It's a little further to work than I am now but it is a lot closer to my mom's and I could get my old side job back so I would be bringing in extra money to compensate for the extra gas and bills.