Well after my melt down I got a text from her asking why I didn't take my little girl to the clinic. I asked her why I thought she was fine? I called my mom and my mother said that she has been having very bad diarrhea. My mother had called my wife because she thought that she was more available then me. I tried to explained that to the wife that and she understood.
Got to the clinic found out she has a virus and got the medicaiton. Told her what was going on. No argunments. I then asked her to come check up on them since I have to go to work. She said she has laundry. So I suggested for her to come tomorrow since I will be in counseling till about 8:30-9pm. She said thats fine.
For some reason I feel like its a break through I don't know I just feel good. Maybe its the meds kicking in but I don't think so. I have this vision of us going to Vegas and getting re-married down there with all the friends. Maybe its just a dream but I keep seeing it. (she is going in Nov with all the couples and one of her single friends.) I hope we can resolve our issues before then. Its just a dream but lets hope it comes true.
Me:27 W:24 S:2 D:9 months M:3 years Together for 8 years Bombed : 6/11/09 Moved out: 6/27/09 Found out about her affair 9/7/09 (she started her's at 6/25/09) Begged n plead 7/25/09 started DB 8/17/09
Yes it has been hard not trying to contact her at all. trying to keep myself busy and when texting now its just about the kids. I so wanted to just call her last night and begg and plead again. I stopped myself by reading DR. Its like everytime I feel the need to contact her or think of her I turn to the book.
I know she has said countless times about not wanting me back. And when I was snooping I saw what others thought about me also which hurt the crap out of me.
I then have to stop myself and tell myself, I'm not a bad person. I have made mistakes but I do not beat my wife, I took care of her, I took care of my kids, and I provided for them. I wished I didn't walk away first. I wished she was strong enough to not do what she did and listen to what I had said before we seperated. But I can't dwell on the past anymore.
I have to find the solution for her to come back home. For her to realize my kids and especially I need her now more then ever. I know there is still love there. Lets hope for the best.
Last edited by sumguy27; 09/11/0902:04 PM.
Me:27 W:24 S:2 D:9 months M:3 years Together for 8 years Bombed : 6/11/09 Moved out: 6/27/09 Found out about her affair 9/7/09 (she started her's at 6/25/09) Begged n plead 7/25/09 started DB 8/17/09
I have been thinking and I want to start back with my wife as friends again. How do I reapproach her? I have messed up quit a bit but I can't let that friendship go. I need to start somewhere to get back into her life. Or should I just give her the space still. I haven't contacted her all day today and yesterday after my little girl was sick.
Me:27 W:24 S:2 D:9 months M:3 years Together for 8 years Bombed : 6/11/09 Moved out: 6/27/09 Found out about her affair 9/7/09 (she started her's at 6/25/09) Begged n plead 7/25/09 started DB 8/17/09
You don't contact her right now. You can be friendly, confident but detached when dealing with your kids and working to make yourself better. You really need to detach from your W right now. That is your first step.
Going after her right now and pushing for a friendship will not help your sitch. Go read K4D's thread and see how trying to get back into his W's life is working for him.
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
Well I did call her to let her know that I won't be home because of counseling after work,and if she stops by to call my moms phone. She says she will after traffic dies down. And just said ok. So it was hard but I sounded cheerful and said ok will see ya.
Me:27 W:24 S:2 D:9 months M:3 years Together for 8 years Bombed : 6/11/09 Moved out: 6/27/09 Found out about her affair 9/7/09 (she started her's at 6/25/09) Begged n plead 7/25/09 started DB 8/17/09
Typical. She text me back saying she was too tired to come visit them. And said for sure tomorrow. Geez.
Me:27 W:24 S:2 D:9 months M:3 years Together for 8 years Bombed : 6/11/09 Moved out: 6/27/09 Found out about her affair 9/7/09 (she started her's at 6/25/09) Begged n plead 7/25/09 started DB 8/17/09
Well she came over this morning to check up on the kids. Man was she freaking hot. Short mini skirt. Gosh. Well she got there and was playing with my kids. I was trying to be cheerful with her there. I tired small talk but she lashed out on me right away. "I'm only here for the kids not you."
I thought she was going to just stay for a hour at most but she stayed till I had to leave to go to work. I ignored her the rest of the time there just sitting on the couch reading DR.
She then got to a point and said so when are you going to work? I told her in a bit.
We put the kids in the car she kissed them. And as much as it hurt, I said "bye W." I knew she wasn't going to turn around and say it back.
It just makes me wonder. If she really hated me and dispise me. Wouldn't she only have stayed for a short period of time?
I have to pick myself back up and keep trying to detach and do things for myself. Next week I plan on taking a class and playing soccer again. I feel good today.
Me:27 W:24 S:2 D:9 months M:3 years Together for 8 years Bombed : 6/11/09 Moved out: 6/27/09 Found out about her affair 9/7/09 (she started her's at 6/25/09) Begged n plead 7/25/09 started DB 8/17/09
Sumguy No calling for now. Only things related to the kids and keep it to texts. Let her have some space.
You need to move slowly now.
If you want to be her friend, you can. Just BACK OFF.
She lashed out at you first thing...not good. That's what animals do when they feel caged. Not that I think she's an animal, but I think there are a lot of similarities between all of us and animals on a very basic level.
