Also she had been trying by stepping up ML, but at that point it still felt like a chore from her without feeling. From her side, she was feeling that she was doing her part, trying very hard to step up her physical affection towards me and still not making me happy.
Do you have any specific advice on how to move through this stage? This is exactly where I am right now, and I am finding it very frustrating. We are both getting frustrated and sometimes it is leading to fights immediately before we ML. She feels she is doing enough. I feel like it's very planned and devoid of feeling.
I don't know how to take it to the next level. Sorry for hijack, but this just sounds way too familiar.
Spellfire no need to ever worry about a hijack I'm always happy to help anyone where I can.
For us some of the changes came when I spoke to her about "choosing her". Many times Mrs Cinco would complain that it didn't matter to me who I was with as along as I was having sex. This, I had to explain, was not true. When I first met her, and as we got to know each other, I made the decision that she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I chose her.
"You are the one I wanted to get to know on a deep level. This was no fling for me. You are my true love. My choice is to be here with you, if it wasn't I would not still be here. My choosing you however is not enough. I want to feel chosen by you as well. I need to feel your love and affection for me in a physical way."
Slowly... very slowly she has reawakened that part of herself that wants me. Our ST/MC has helped her a lot with this too. Reading DB, SSM and PM have helped as well. Once she realized that I wanted HER, not just sex from her, the shift began to occur.
Another difference is in the way that we ML. There is no rush anymore, we might spend an hour or more touching and kissing. Also we ML about 1-2 times a week. In between ML though we still show affection with kisses, hugs and snuggling at night. Touching each other without it leading to sex. Sometimes there is no intention of sex and then it just happens anyway. It has helped to leave the possibility open with no certainty of it happening.
Of course there are still nights (or days) when we know we will ML, but it doesn't have to.
