I'm new wondering if this works...

[ginab1966]

Hi:

I just read a few of your last posts and the lying thing is...WAS me to a tee. My husband didnt' like certain aspects of my life. I didn't want to change, so I hid those things from him and didn't tell him. When confonted, I'd lie every time, get caught and he would be so mad..ENRAGED. The lying, the changing yourself so that you are what everyone wants you to be so no one is unhappy with you, the self hatered? I found very good way to change those things about me. It's called CoDepencance anonymous. I realize that I am addicted to others. I am emmeshed in their lives and cannot detach enough to see who I am, who they are, what I want. Do you see how hard it is to even write what you want when Stronger asks you too? You quit something that you enjoyed because it made others upset. That isn't healthy by any stretch of the imagination. The bottom line is taht your H seems like a pretty unhappy fellow. Personally, I don't think much of that has anything to do with you but you've chosen to take it on as a task to make him happy. Listen to Stronger...you cannot make him happy. Only he can make him happy. Of course you can do things that celebrate him or help make the road you are both on smoother..but bending over backwards and inside out isn't going to help.

Please check out the CoDA website. Just look at what they say and see if what they say makes sense. Heck, what have you got to lose...right?

Take good care of yourself....of YOURself...of yourSELF. Get it???? Hugs to you..

Gina B