You don't contact her right now. You can be friendly, confident but detached when dealing with your kids and working to make yourself better. You really need to detach from your W right now. That is your first step.
Going after her right now and pushing for a friendship will not help your sitch. Go read K4D's thread and see how trying to get back into his W's life is working for him.
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
