There is a difference between being agreeable on things which are of low consequence: - "You are right dear, that movie was great!" - "You are right dear, that friend was horrible to you"
?????????? Where are you trying to go with this nonsense????
Your wife doesn't care if you tell her you don't like a movie that she likes... UNLESS you are telling her you don't like it just to be contrary. (she can tell the difference)( and many men DO disagree JUST to be contrary) The key is allowing her like the movie without being condescending or trying to make her look stupid or like a fool because she DOES disagree with you...
No wonder you are struggling... You are at square one her aren't you?
Thinker..... The agreement principle I mentioned to you was for the issue (your parents vs you and her) that you were talking about. Those types of things.. Don't go overboard on this and take things out of context.
Quote:
And of avoiding / facing conflict over things of consequence: - "Yes Dear, spend whatever you want. No need to tell me" - "Yes Dear, of course you can take on that volunteer work which takes you away every evening and keeps me from doing anything myself - no need to even ask"
The last 2 examples are, of course, completely facetious, but I did just have a humdinger of an argument with my w about $ and how we prioritize it's use.
I am reading something quite different... You sure you weren't in the "preach to her mode" and how "we" prioritize it's use?..
( don't forget.. I take care of the money in my house too, so I DO know what I am talking about)
I would venture to say you were using the back handed way of saying to her... "you don't prioritize the use of money as well as I do"...
That is what I would say you mean...
Why didn't you say to her...
"You know honey, I guess I always come across as knowing everything about how to priortize money and probably sound to you that I don't like it when you spend it and don't tell me first or don't trust you with the spending of our money"? Do you think I come across that way to you?"
Why didn't you have your doozey of an argument on making the "how we prioritze" money and take out the we and speak for yourself and your own failures in prioritizing? Maybe she views you as a tightass with money... did you agree with her views on YOU and her end of the argument?....
You sure you aren't guilty of some of the same things you say about her regarding money. Or are you the opposite and count every penny? (women hate that)
