I've said this before, can't remember where or when, but timing is a part of DBing.
Right now, you go and tell her "I won't share my wife with another man" one of two things will happen. She'll laugh and just continue with her relationship and explain to you the gaul you have. Or she'll say You're right, and file.
You have no cards when it comes to forcing this relationship to end. Some people here do. Some don't, some are getting there and etc.
If I had told my H in January "I'm not sharing you with anyone" he would have just laughed and would have said "I'm really not your H anymore" and he may have filed if I tried to push him to end that crap, but for sure, he would have continued that relationship regardless of me and my feelings. I had no cards in January. Over the months there have been bumps and bruises and dips and turns and everything you can think of. But now, I do have some cards and if and when I need to play them I will.
Do you understand?
Yes, you both got you both to this place. The difference is this: Seemingly at this point, she doesn't care. She is ready to sign, so you have no choice but to file or wait and see what happens. In her mind, like my H in January, you are not married.
