Yep, same ol' same ol' with him....definitely trying to reduce the money. There isn't a competent judge around that would let the kids move from the stable time/ original routine with mom, who use to stay home with them to all of the sudden one week on and one week off.
If you think back to everything he is doing, you realize what his game plan is. Upping his time with them, trying to get them "unlabeled", getting them "unhomeschooled", getting you working, anything that he could bring up as Child negligence (sunburn, bedwetting, etc.)....all so that he doesn't have to pay as much child support/alimony. He is building his case.
He wants them unlabeled because if they are not autistic then that changes things legally. You could fight for the fact that you need to be there for your children and your job is affected by that reason. Not to mention that you have been out of the workforce for those many years. Alimony is affected because you cannot be self supporting when you have to have this type of schedule because of the kids' disabilities. Of which you had discussed when married. It is not your kid's faults that their Daddy decided to leave the family. So, the kids should get what they had before the divorce, and that is a mom who can support them and their disability. By having them more at his house, I imagine he wants to show that you are not the primary residence. The sunburn pictures, etc, are to build up a case as to your mental health and negligence.
It's like he googled "how to get out of child support and alimony" and is going through those lists of ways and trying to build up a case in each topic.
Remember that kids get more expensive as they get older. I hope you are coming up with a number that is going to cover those expenses. Do not feel guilty about having your ex pay for his children like he would have if you two were married.
YOur ex is only going to get worse as you get closer to the divorce proceedings. Be ready for that. He is the type of man that will do anything to get you rattled and get something "on" you. You should be really proud of yourself so far, Karen. YOu are not lowering yourself to his rubbish. Keep all of the emails so that the judge can see what he is up to. You can believe your stbxh is saving EVERYTHING he can to scr3w you over.
