My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[RedSoxFan]

Martyr has two definitions:
1.) a person who is put to death or endures great suffering on behalf of any belief, principle, or cause
2.) a person who seeks sympathy or attention by feigning or exaggerating pain, deprivation, etc.

Which are you RSF?

Dude, I am over hear whining and having the pity-party of a lifetime. It's not really who I am but I can't shake it. I'm really beginning to think I just don't know how to NOT be in control.

All these questions can only be answered by you?

IF you want to divorce her to end your pain, then do it. Stop asking. Just do it.

Is divorcing her going to end your pain? Do you think divorcing her is going to help end that relationship?
Why do you think every thing she does when she's not with the kids is with him? Do you know for fact that it is? I don't know how going to a party with you and the kids frees her up for more time with OM....?????

"You're right, I can't do anything about it but should I stay married to someone who hurts me like this just because I screwed up?"

If you really believe the above, you need to divorce her right now. Because she's a cruel heartless person who doesn't deserve any happiness in her life.

I'm 90% sure she's not doing anything on purpose. But it still hurts like he11.

She didn't do this to punish you. She moved on with her life because YOU LEFT HER. This has nothing to do with punishing anyone. This has to do with a woman who moved on.

All of this is your choice RSF. What I'm saying is really, I don't think your wife did anything wrong because you admit, you were the one who left. You were the one who wanted out. She let you go and she moved on.

Now, you have to deal with this and figure out what you can take, what you can't and what you want to do.

The easiest thing to do right now would be to do the D and move on with my life. I have a great life ahead full of joy and happiness. In my heart though, something tells me that I will look back and regret not doing everything possible to save our family. What my heart doesn't tell me is how to live in purgatory and watch the woman I love with another man.

And you're right Stronger, I don't know how much time she's spending with him. I know it's not much. I don't know that she would spend Saturday night with him. I would certainly bet on it though. I'm doing my best not to care and not to find out.