Martyr has two definitions: 1.) a person who is put to death or endures great suffering on behalf of any belief, principle, or cause 2.) a person who seeks sympathy or attention by feigning or exaggerating pain, deprivation, etc.
Which are you RSF?
All these questions can only be answered by you?
IF you want to divorce her to end your pain, then do it. Stop asking. Just do it.
Is divorcing her going to end your pain? Do you think divorcing her is going to help end that relationship? Why do you think every thing she does when she's not with the kids is with him? Do you know for fact that it is? I don't know how going to a party with you and the kids frees her up for more time with OM....?????
"You're right, I can't do anything about it but should I stay married to someone who hurts me like this just because I screwed up?"
If you really believe the above, you need to divorce her right now. Because she's a cruel heartless person who doesn't deserve any happiness in her life.
She didn't do this to punish you. She moved on with her life because YOU LEFT HER. This has nothing to do with punishing anyone. This has to do with a woman who moved on.
All of this is your choice RSF. What I'm saying is really, I don't think your wife did anything wrong because you admit, you were the one who left. You were the one who wanted out. She let you go and she moved on.
Now, you have to deal with this and figure out what you can take, what you can't and what you want to do.
