I was supposed to get divorced tomorrow - part 2

[1853dave]

It's Friday, and nothing really to report. No contact from the atty, and the W hasn't said a word about meeting for developing a parenting plan, or determining how to split the finances. She really hasn't said anything - it's as if life is just going on, and none of this "stuff" is really happening.

Our D date is set for Oct 12. When W dropped the bomb again last week, she said we need to meet to discuss all of this stuff, but in her typical fashion, nothing has happened. So, we supposedly have a month to sort all of this out - but she seems to not be in a hurry... She picked a bad time to be doing this - she's real busy with school now, and will get busier at the end of this month. I really don't know where she's going with this.

I don't spend much energy thinking about this anymore. I wouldn't say I'm resigned to it - I just feel that at this point I have done so much for me, for her, for the relationship, that at this point I going to stop swimming and just float. Just hang out and "be there" and see what happens. If the D happens, at least there's some closure for me from this awful limbo-land I'm in. That's not what I want, but I can't control that. In reality, though, right now I'd be somewhat surprised if she actually does go through with the divorce.

W has no income. She's busy with nursing school. Time is getting tight for her. She has scheduling and daycare conflicts. If the D happens, the condo will have to sell - there's no way in the world she can afford to keep it. She can't even afford it now with the money I give her today. That money amount is going to decrease a bunch in a month. She has acquired a bunch of debt; she can't get another credit card (I don't think) - and if she did, the credit limit would be pretty low on it. Anyway, she would have to be making income in the form of a job, which might have to be full time for her to make it on her own. When that happens, say goodbye to school. School would be over. She LOVES going to school... I just don't see her jeopardizing her school and potential career in nursing.

We were working on piecing a few weeks ago, and things were going ok. A little tough at times, but overall, we were planning for the future, talking about budgeting, laying ground rules, etc. We were not lovey-dovey, but we were more personal with ourselves than we were with others. We would hug when we greeted, and hugged when we parted. But then there was the key incident. Two days later the 3rd "D" bomb. Here we are 10 days later, and we are back to the usual routine - I pick up the kids, drop them off, we're friendly to eachother, we're friendly on the phone... I did hug her on Sunday, but I think she was giving me that "What the he** are you thinking ?" look, but she did hug me. I haven't touched her since. I left Wed evening after bringing the kids home, and I let myself out, and as I did I heard a projected, "Bye, have a good night, Dave!" eminate from the kitchen. She could have said nothing, but she sounded like she didn't want me leaving without one final bid...

So, that's where we're at. She asked me to pick up the kids early on Sat morning so she could go to a day-long CPR class. I told her I would, but then rethought my plans and told her last night I can't be there until 10am. I decided that I am not going to reschedule my entire life again for her to go to school, only to have her D me later. She can deal with her own scheduling problems. So, she's trying to figure it out on her own. Maybe she'll see that I won't be so handy and available once we're divorced. No, I didn't tell her any of that. All she knows is that I have things to do myself on Sat morning.

I called her this morning and offered to pick up D4 from preschool, so I can spend some time with the little one today. She was ok with that. This also relieves her of having to hurry back to town right after class to pick up D4 - so it does her a favor as well.

Man, I would think that if I were her, why would I want to leave a caring, helpful guy like me?

Well, it ain't over yet, as they say...