I think it's good. It's a tiny, tiny view of reality for her. I think that's a good thing. I think she does have a certain picture in her mind of how stuff is going to go, so when you put a little chink in that, it's a good thing.
Not rubbing her back was excellent. I think her comment was directed at you to get you to massage her. Good for you for not doing that. Again, she needs to get used to the fact that if you D you won't be giving her massages. A good thing. Better to just not do it than to say anything. Actions speak louder than words.
I think it's ok to go on this outing once if you think you can go, be positive, focus on the kids, and no R talk; but I wouldn't make a regular habit of it. I think she is envisioning you will keep up that kind of stuff after the D so maybe gradually stop doing those kind of activities so she might realize that will not be your plan. Be taking the kids to the zoo by yourself; have your own activities planned with the kids.
I think MC is great; but from so many people here I've seen them go to MC when there's an OP and I don't think I've ever seen positive outcomes from that. And a lot of times the MC will buy into the WAS thinking and encourage divorce, so it can even be harmful. I've read, although Sara is the one that would know, that couples that go to Retroville I don't think can have an OM or OW involved, but I'm not 100% sure on that.
