Well when the sex card gets played, don't forget that you have a trump card in your hand....
She of course needs to throw her sex card. It is her lead. If she throws her sex card, then you can play off or trump it.
(take the sex)... the key is in making sure she understands that you don't want her to think that you are giving her the wrong impression. That is accomplised by telling her..."I don't want to lead you on here." (she will of course answer.."no, I understand. This is because I want to do it")
Remember.. Your lines in this movie are now the ones of the WS. Her lines will be the ones of the BS. If she doesn't memorize and say her lines correctly (i.e. says it isn't working or doesn't know how she feels etc.) THEN you just agree with her.("I feel the same way. I agree this isn't working) If she says them correctly, then you keep playing your WS part. ("I don't know how I feel, this wasn't working, we argued too much, etc.")
So.. If you want the sex. Fine. Take it. It never seems to hurt the WS in most of the situations I have observed. It certainly doesn't cause the BS to file for divore. It usually gives them some type of hope. You are the WS in this card game now.... She is the BS....
We are actually trying to reconcile this marriage aren't we? Just play your hand and don't show her all your cards. Showing her your cards is silly. Hold them close to the vest.
This way you get sex.. and don't give up the rest of your hand... It doesn't get any better than that..
We are actually trying to reconcile this marriage aren't we?
"I don't know what I want right now. I am not happy with the current situation and have not been for some time. It might be that I need time for me, now. Time to explore those things I have discovered that are out there before me. It has nothing to do with you. It's me.
Sure, I wasnt going to bother posting this till there was a little more to tell, but since I am obviously an immature man and juvenile and take part in highschoolish game playing, I'll be happy to prove it. She threw out the "sex card." Not once but 3 times in the course of a couple days. This was spot-on, btw :
Quote:
..."I don't want to lead you on here."
she will of course answer..
"no, I understand. This is because I want to do it"
And to top it off "so-n-so" who taught maybe he could still play his hand has obviously been brushed off and is being ignored.
How was this accomplished? By playing the game of love.
My wife came home a day early from her business trip (work training) after calling several times everynight. On the night she came back, I was having an end of summer bbq for my close friends. And yes, "Jolene" was there. And yes, "Jolene's kids" were there. And for all this concern about the children, it didnt seem at all like they felt like pawns as they traded mp3s, hanging out and texting their boyfriends and the boys seemed quite happy playing madden 10 on the playstation 3. Quite unaffected and unaware.
I fully expected W to lock herself in the backroom or cause a scene in front of my friends, however, within an hour of 'socially interacting' with company, W felt it necessary to mark her "territory." And later that night was quite adamant about wanting to work on the lost physical connection a little more. Now this is my wife who I was half convinced was some witchcraft spell casting lesbian friend alien from hell and here she is contorting her body in all different directions trying to get her g-spot hit.
I had done nothing other than some flirting and getting acquainted with members of the other sex. Changed my attitude and direction in life, noticeably. And oh, I put my foot down hard as soon as it appeared there was some sort of threat to my marriage.
The next day I fully expected a relationship talk. And it came. Synopsis:
W: What do you want from me? M: Nothing. I would just like to have a wife that is happy to be married to me.
The past week has been pretty unique compared to the past couple of years. I think it is important to go into some of this later.
What to make of this? Jealousy? Fear of Loss? Maybe even married people like to play games of attraction sometimes to know they can still attract their partners? IDK. I wasn't going to post about this quite yet. I would have liked to see how the next few weeks pan out and had more time to detail about the interactions and my responses.
But since this is all the sign of an emotionally unhealthy mind, I hope what you are doing is working for y'all.
I just wanted you to know, scary as it seems... I learned something from you!
Tired of the same ol' same ol'. Starting THIS am, I've decided to turn the tables a bit.
H peeks one eye out from under a t-shirt he's put over his head. (I've taken the kids to school, walked w/friends, etc...) I'm not getting ready to shower, etc... Has some semi-sarcastic question about hearing all of the noise going on in here? Me? "No, I didn't hear a thing." (Normally, I would apologize, engage him to talk more, etc... F*ck no. We're moving down a NEW tunnel, starting this am!)
H makes another semi-sarcastic comment about me being really "out" when he came to bed last night, and I was lightly snoring, so he nudged me a few times, and I finally stopped. Me? "Must have been in the air, because I did the same to you, but choose not to allow petty things become a complaint."
More of me getting clothing out, etc... ZERO engaging...
I come out, hair done, make-up on, clothed (cute, too, I might add!). H says, "Geesh, what were you doing in there?????" Me? "If you needed to get in the bathroom, the door's always unlocked, and I have never had issues with you being in there when I'm getting ready, or just being present."
I walk out of the room. Again, ZERO engaging beyond answering his 'tude!
H follows me... (nice voice) "Wasn't that funny last night at dinner when...? Me? "Yes, very." H, again... "How about when....? Me? "Oh, yea, silly."
I keep walking into the hallway. H asks, "Where are you going now?" Me? "Into the next room to work." H asks, "Oh, yea, then where?" Me? "Well, I have all sorts of things to do."
He hangs... I add, "Do you need something? H? "No." I say, "Well, then do you mind not following me around? I feel like thedog has a twin!"
My phone rings. I grab it, QUICKLY! "Oh, HI, NEIL! Hahahaha Gosh, you are so awesome. I can't believe the genius you've displayed! How do I repay you? ahhhahahah" H walks in when I'm done... I ask, "YES?" H says, "Nothing, I'm showering." Me? "OK."
This is what he'll get this week. New approach. Me? COMPLETELY not engaging him. Cute, polite, and reactionary conversation only.
Doesn't hurt to have male's calling in his presence either. AND, with me laughing and complimenting them. (He doesn't have to know the dude on the other end is some smelly German w/the worst breath known to man!)
Thought you'd enjoy.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
