Gosh y'all.. you make me feel so special. *hugs and smiles*
My brother told me in the midst of the emotional chaos that I had a good 'bullshit meter' and should use it. I started doing that and at the same time listening to the quiet 'inner voice'. So many times sign posts, markers, hints about what to do emerge.
For years my daughter begged to see the American Idol tour. The only tickets I could ever find were astronomically priced and I personally thought it was a little weird. I don't check my email as often and saw a two day old email from a friend offering tickets to the show. When I contacted her the tickets were gone but I saw the original price and decided to call the box office since the show was that night (yesterday). Lo and behold, tickets were available. I texted my daughter to see if she was interested and free to go. With her reply YES!!! I purchased the tickets without really checking to see where they were. Just do it... listen to what's in her heart and do it.
The good news was, we had fantastic seats. The oops news was that she'd forgotten that she and her dad were supposed to have dinner that night. She hasn't seen him since July. I told her that he could buy the tickets and take her. In the end he made her feel guilty that she'd forgotten, she felt so bad. Then she said, "You know, Mom, I think he forgot he was supposed to be here." Ugh.. that brought back memories of feeling like a worm pierced on a hook twirling in agony. Where he was in the wrong, too, but opted to place the guilt solely on me. I shared that getting together with her Dad was a two way street and that perhaps having a schedule would make it easier for both of them to remember.
Anyway... we were just a few rows up on the side of the stage. We were close enough that the featured guitarist was checking out my baby and could make eye contact with the performers. We both had glow sticks whose movements danced in the air. It was great!
At intermission, I switched seats with a friend of hers so they could both relish moment. Her seats were farther away, which offered a different perspective. Unfortunately the screamers were right behind us. It was the type of shrill shrieking that sent pain into my brain, slowly awakening the type of agony I had after the head injury. I knew once Adam came on they'd be insane so I left, preferring the corridors to the show.
I tried standing in the stairway where my daughter was but was told I had to move. After telling the usher my situation, he gave me a seat even closer but near enough that my daughter saw me. Goodness, what a show Adam put on. What smiles were on my daughter and her friend. At some point I noticed her friend had left and my daughter motioned me to come back up. Although I sat in three different places, my favorite was with her. I shared that with her after the show... because it was her energy that made everything so good.
