Well and good on the disagreeing. If being honest and thinking that telling the truth as you see it is you highest priority, then I would say that you might as well accept that there are going to be arguments or times of tough moments..
However, I look at it as being a little differently. It isn't my highest priority. My higest priority is not to feel like I always have to stand up for myself and prove I will be honest, but HOW MY WIFE FEELS about us and the relationship. ( I already know that I can stand up for myself. Arguing and telling my unguarded opinion is not one of my weaknesses)( I have found it doesn't work. Pick your battles. There are enough battles in a relationship without making more of them.
For example... My wife could come to me and ask me..
"How does this top look on me, does it make me look fat?"
Now. Maybe I may not like the top she has chosen as well as I would "truthfully" feel. Maybe it would make her look like she has gained some weight...
I have two choice at this point... Be totally truthful and cause her to feel bad about herself and spoil our night and her night...
OR.. I can take the road of agreement....
"You aren't fat, I think it looks GREAT on you and I will be proud to be with you tonight."
WIN, win... I really don't care to prove my honesty as much as I WANT her to feel good. We then have a great night together and I have avoided a list of issues. Now, she may very well say nothing to me and go change it anyway. (which she has done from time to time)The key to me as that she feels closer to me and enjoys the night.
Sometimes she has asked me.."Which pair of shoes do you think look better?"
I say..."Try them both on and let me see" She does...
I wait... observe both and THEN I tell her the truth..
"I like that pair. They look good." I then point to the pair I like. NOW, I have been both truthful and agreeable. Again.. Issues avoided for the SAKE of the relationship...
I got to tell her how I felt and I also didn't make her feel bad or question herself. I WANT my wife to feel good about herself and that I think she is all that. She is and I will continue to tell her that. That is my priority. It works very very well for me and I am not going to change what works.
